" A charming family? I'm sure? What the hell was that supposed to mean? I remembered, for only a moment, how angry and frustrated I'd been by April, but always attracted to her in spite of that. Now lust and old bittersweet memories blinded me.When we met the following summer, our "old friends" hug, tentative at first, my hand stroking her back lightly, morphed after only the tiniest hesitation into something else, our lips glued together, forever, it seemed like, our arms tight around each other and our bodies pressed together. I was in love again. Or lust. Or something. I was also limp, but I ignored that.Despite my confusion, and fogged with yearning while ignoring the irony of declaring right then that our respective marriages were strong, we made plans for a beach picnic. A few days later, April snorted when her daughter asked us on the way out of the house where were we going and what were we going to do. "Walk and talk and have a picnic," I answered. Fuck our brains out on the. First, you lapped me up like a stray dog in heat, but not quite. On nights when we drank together, nothing much else seemed to matter but the moment, until the sun showed us we pushed it too far again and you really needed to clean your coffee table. Too many fingerprints on the glasses. Almost out of cigarettes. Never have I heard so many words between words as when we talked about what bugs us, what brings us to life. You kept looking at my lips.Then, in cold terms, you made clear what you told yourself you’re looking for, you didn’t need anybody. There wasn’t a glimpse of me in there. Since forever ago you hadn’t fallen in love. Or so you say. As one does, I told myself I misheard you when you named me prince of everything. Fool’s more like it. Needed a drink after that. Maybe two. Maybe more. I forget.We hid amongst our friends as friends. Dining, laughing, cracking unsavory jokes. Celebrating life in all its shitty splendor. Playing your out of tune guitar all night. Not a single.
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